The old ones are the best..... Part 2

- drafted 27 Feb 05 / published 24 Oct 09-

call me stubborn, naive, dUMb or whatever you want, but i still think that my shield of indifference would work. that me actively trying to feel dispassionate about her life, her woes, would keep me from ever repeating what i feel is one of the biggest mistakes of my life. one that i would helplessly make over and over again if i ever allow myself. so i'm not gonna be friends with her, things are never gonna be "ok". deep down i know the indifference is just a charade, but constantly keeping that up is still simpler then the complications that would occur if i ever fall for her again. sure, i miss her. the voice that i love hearing, especially the laughter. the hugs. the whining. the silly little gifts. its tempting, really, but i'm just too afraid, cos i know i'll never ever be satisfied being just friends with her.

if there ever was true love, i guess that's the closest i'll ever get to it.

the girl who was the turning point of my life.
the girl who made me want to pick up the piano, so that i could play her favorite song at the time.
the girl who made me want to be less quiet.
the girl whom i'll willingly save soggy fries for.
the girl whom i'll rush down to meet, even at 3 am in the morning
the girl who made me first experience the expression of "heart melting"
the girl who contributed to the most heart wrenching moment of my life
the girl whom i've baked brownies for
the girl whom i've wrote a song for
the girl named felicia.

yue yun ah... i know how it is... you'll never ever feel that way for me...

oh well. thats life....

i'm happy with life now anyways...